Last week (Aug. 22), the 15-year music vet tackled Nicki Minaj’s celebratory anthem “Moment For Life” to honor the pink-loving femcee’s contributions to Cash Money’s iconic empire, but critics believe the the Queens raptress should bow down to the former Slip-N-Slide MC.
”I didn’t care that I’ve been in the game longer,” the Back 2 Business rapper tells KarenCivil.com of her BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards performance. “It wasn’t about me. It was a tribute honoring her. I was only thinking, please don’t get caught in this train (laughs), but it was really great.”
However, juggling onstage duties and emotional turmoil proved to be the night’s biggest triumph for the 34-year-old rap star. In April, the Miami native’s 19-year-old brother Wilbrent “Gonk” Bain was murdered in a violent gun altercation. Admitting the tragic loss sends her to a “very dark place,” the Diamond Princess says performing among her peers helps her cope, if only for a few moments.
“I got on that stage, performed and smiled, but honestly, I’m numb,” she says. “There’s nothing in the world that could make me really understand that my brother is not here and I can’t get on the phone and say something to him. Sometimes I look at the text messages or look at the phone and still dial his number. Right before hitting that stage, I was literally in tears like, wow, he could’ve been here with me. But [I put on] a brave face, and when it was done, I felt happy.”
Despite personal struggles, the resilient rap star remains hopeful about her music career (with the help of guy-pal French Montana) and developing her new long-term hosting gig on Tiny Tonight. As for her upcoming sixth studio album?
“I have some surprises I’m excited about,” she says. “I’ve cut a bunch of different records. I just want to make beautiful music and have a good time.” –Niki McGloster